So I received this in the mail a couple months ago, and finally got around to scanning it for your viewing pleasure.

I can’t imagine an issues I care less about, and the amount of passion the author obviously has for this cracks my shit up.

First page of the diatribe.

First page of the diatribe.

I’m a little unsure what exactly the “wacko division” of the Las Vegas Mob has to do with anything – apparently, trying to get someone to go all Oswald on the president has a serious link to fixing sports games. But, OMG there’s POISONERS and CAR THEIVES! I’m glad it only took this guy 5 years to figure out that the mob employs undesireables.

Second page of the diatribe.

Second page of the diatribe.

So, um, really? It’s totally time to stop the mob. They have contacts at airports that will enable them to poison you better. Also, I love this metric for the cars of the CIA: white for good, black for evil, red for control, green for money, blue for sanity, and yellow for minor sin. Are the colors assigned according to what the CIA is investigating? Or to the nature of the operative? “Hey Chuck, I saw you leave the bar with that girl…looks like you’re in the Yellow car today!”

Third page of the diatribe.

Third page of the diatribe.

We absolutely should stock the gaming commission with ex-Navy SEALS. Why has no-one thought of this before?

So, in conclusion, sure, mob activity is not good and gambling fixing isn’t a great thing either. But, as someone who doesn’t gamble, go to Vegas or particularly care about the decisions that athletes make behind closed doors, I can’t really take this thing seriously. Not even factoring in the healthy dose of paranoia and just weirdness evident.

However, what a great idea for an Unknown Armies game!

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